Category: Philosophy

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The Ways of Love

As complicated as the wiring of the human heart is, so are the complications of love. Many believe in fate when it comes to matters of the heart. Even Solomon, the wisest of men was confused by the ways of love. Malcolm and Alora are victims to this same sensation of love. Since love grows with time, having been in a relationship for three years the two lovers are fond of each other. After a break-up, each one tries to find someone who will fill the gap initially occupied by their mates. It is for this reason that Alora became intimate with Malcolm’s casual friend. On the other hand, Malcolm started dating around but could not get serious with anyone. This is because overcoming the effect of a lover is one of the hardest things.

Self Disclosure

Self disclosure is essential for a healthy and serious relationship. However, it may result to more harm than good while some stakes are involved. Malcolm’s idea for self disclosure is a serious and positive step as the couple is planning to move in together. It is the basis upon which trust and confidence on the other party are built. Disclosing private information that one feels the other party would be uncomfortable running from outsiders is critical to maintaining an open relationship. However, some information may be disturbing while shared with a lover since they may change the view they had on the individual. Some may also lead to broken trust and an end of the relationship. For example, if Alora tells Malcolm that she was intimately involved with his friend, this would not only hurt his ego as a man, but also he may start wondering if the affair was not conjured while they were still together. Such unsatisfactory questions are the case for alarm in a relationship. From personal experience, everyone past actions ought to be brought to the open. Failure to do this, the past comes haunting and robes us the very present thing we cherish. Observations done to the cause of many relationship break ups is as a result of the truth coming to the open. The victim feels betrayed by their partner. The policy of full disclosure is; tell them the whole truth they take it or leave it. If someone accepts your past mistakes, it builds a foundation for continued trust in the individual.

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In the case of Alora and Malcolm, partial disclosure can be more effective as opposed to full disclosure. Since the couple had dated for three years, they may use benevolent lies to maintain their former reputation and regard for each other. One would feel betraying the other by telling them they failed to live up to the expected standards. This creates the basis for lies. Each of the two individuals may try to use trial and error method to disclose to each other what they have been doing for the breakup period. This may result to the individual just hinting what they have been doing.

Marriage is a serious undertaking of even adult. With the couple talking of marriage, from my own opinion, full disclosure is essential. Living with a person who hampers secrets is not good for a marriage to work. Trust is the foundation of successful marriages, and it starts with full disclosure.

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